2025 Draft — Bleacher Bums

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Ladies and gentlemen, the league office has completed its official review of the Bleacher Bums' 2025 rookie draft class — and Roger is prepared to deliver his findings, provided someone refreshes this old-fashioned before he loses his train of thought. The 1.03 and 1.07 selections represent genuine competence, which frankly surprised this office given the historical body of work we're dealing with here. That said, whoever Brian's board consultant was at picks 2.03 and 2.11 — consensus slots 29 and 33, taken at 15 and 23 respectively — those are the kind of reaches that make the league office physically wince. Per Article 11, Section 4(f)(ii) of the DDDD Constitution, aggressive overvaluation of middling prospects is a fineable offense, and Roger is absolutely considering it. The saving grace — and Roger does not hand these out lightly — is that 4.03 steal: a consensus-28 prospect sitting there at pick 39 like Brian accidentally stumbled into a good decision, which, statistically speaking, he probably did. B-minus. A Bleacher Bums draft grade above a C is, honestly, a constitutional moment for this league. The league office cautiously tips its glass to Brian Hillman — and then immediately worries about what he'll do with these players come September.

Ladies and gentlemen, the league office has completed its annual review of the Bleacher Bums' 2025 rookie draft class — and the verdict, after consulting no fewer than three analysts and approximately four old-fashioneds, is fine. Just fine. Tetairoa McMillan at 1.03 was the obvious crown jewel — a composite 88, the kind of pick that makes Brian look like he knows what the hell he's doing, which frankly the career record suggests is a statistical anomaly. Savion Williams, however, was a disaster dressed up in a 75 draft-grade costume — a 39 performance score that has no business existing on a roster that already knew how to lose without any help. The middle of this class is exactly what you'd expect from a franchise averaging a 9.75 finish: serviceable, forgettable, and quietly disappointing in ways that won't show up until it really matters. Per Article 11, Section 3(d) of the league by-laws, a B- composite grade is hereby classified as "doing the bare minimum," and the league office has noted this on the permanent record — right next to the 2022, 2023, and 2024 entries.