2025 Draft — Roger After Rehab

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Ladies and gentlemen, the league office has completed its review of Franchise 4's 2025 rookie draft class — a name, by the way, that the league office is still waiting on, four-plus seasons into this endeavor, but fine, fine, we soldier on. Tyler Warren at 1.09 is a damn fine piece of business — consensus had him going sixth, these two found him still sitting at nine, and a tight end with that kind of upside slipping three spots in dynasty is the sort of thing that makes Roger's evening considerably more enjoyable. Jayden Higgins at 2.09 is the steal of the entire draft, full stop — ten slots of value, Per Article 12, Section 3(d), is legally classified as a "heist," and the league office will be filing the appropriate paperwork. And then… Will Howard at 3.09… a quarterback consensus-ranked fifty-ninth taken at thirty-third… *hic*… Blake, Taylor, Roger just needs a moment with that one. The reach is real, the upside on the first two picks is genuinely exciting, and the league office awards Franchise 4 a B- — which is, historically, a better grade than their team-naming effort has ever received. Don't @ me.

On behalf of the league office, after an exhaustive review of the 2025 draft class belonging to the franchise still called — and I cannot stress this enough — Franchise 4, Roger is prepared to issue his findings. Tyler Warren was, frankly, a damn good pull at 1.09 — a tight end who actually produced like a tight end, which in this league is rarer than Blake and Taylor agreeing on a team name. Jayden Higgins showed promise at the time of selection but the production didn't quite follow; a B+ with a 13-point performance drop-off is the fantasy equivalent of a great pre-game warmup and a forgettable game. And then there is Will Howard — a third-round quarterback taken with a draft-time grade of 34, a performance grade of not applicable, and an overall composite of 34, which is, to use the technical term, a shitshow — the league office formally notes that "n/a" is not a stat line, it is a cry for help. A B-minus overall is the grade of a man who aced one exam, passed another, and then didn't show up for the final… which, given that your team has been called Franchise 4 for four consecutive seasons, feels spiritually on-brand.