2023 Draft — Smokin' Stogies

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Ladies and gentlemen, the league office has completed its review of the Smokin' Stogies' 2023 rookie draft selections, and Roger is prepared to render a formal assessment… The 1.08 was fine — Brad waited one extra slot and got his guy at consensus rank 7, which is the kind of disciplined restraint this league rarely sees from a man who names his team after a cigar. The 2.08, however, is a goddamn reach — seventeen slots above consensus, which means Brad either has intel the rest of us don't, or he's been raiding someone's humidor and making decisions accordingly. The 3.08 follows the same philosophy: fourteen slots of pure Brad-confidence, and Roger wants it on the record that confidence is not a scouting report. The 4.08 is actually fine — grabbed a guy two slots late, which in the grand scheme of this draft is practically a steal. Overall grade: C+. Per Article 11, Section 3(d)(ii) of the Dynasty Conduct By-Laws, a composite score of 59.77 is legally defined as "technically passing, but don't get smug about it." Brad has one pick that might look smart in three years and two that will require an alibi. Light that stogie, Cigar Champ — you're going to need something to do during the waiver wire.

Ladies and gentlemen, the league office has completed its formal review of the Smokin' Stogies' 2023 rookie class — and the verdict is, frankly, the most "sure, fine, whatever" draft in recorded history. Quentin Johnston is the crown jewel here, a legitimate A-grade asset who made Brad look like a genius at 1.08; Roger tips his glass to that one. The rest of the class, however, is where things get deeply mediocre — Tyler Scott at 4.08 posted a composite of 44, which is the fantasy equivalent of ordering a fine bourbon and receiving a lukewarm Coors Light. Roschon Johnson showed a pulse, Israel Abanikanda showed approximately nothing, and the whole back half of this class aged like a stogie left in a hot car. Overall grade: B- — Brad got one right, and three wrong, which in this league still somehow qualifies as average. Don't @ me.