2023 Draft — Designated Drinker

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Ladies and gentlemen, the league office has concluded its review of the Designated Drinker's 2023 rookie draft class — and Roger is prepared to issue a formal statement, right after he finishes this old-fashioned, which is… mostly finished. The pick at 1.10 is a 15-slot reach — consensus had this player sitting comfortably at 25, and Corey walked up to the podium and just grabbed him like he was the last appetizer at a buffet. Per Article 11, Section 3(a)(ii) of the Dynasty Draft Conduct Manual, that is what we in the league office call a panic reach, and it has been logged accordingly. His second-round opener at 2.06 is another 13-slot overpay, which means Corey has now burned two picks trying to solve a problem he apparently didn't think about before the draft started — bold strategy, genuinely baffling execution. The saving grace — and Roger will give credit where it's due, which is not something Roger does lightly — is the 2.10 pick, an 8-slot value that looks like a legitimate steal and is the only reason this class isn't wearing a full dunce cap. The back half is fine, borderline forgettable, a 4.06 that is somehow a 16-slot reach in the fourth round, which is… Corey, buddy… what are you doing. A C+ is generous, it is probably accurate, and the league office is watching the Designated Drinker's future draft rooms with a heightened level of concerned scrutiny