Brady's Out

Ladies and gentlemen, the league office has completed its formal post-mortem review of the Brady's Out 2025 rookie class — and Roger will be honest, he expected worse from a man who named his team after a retirement and still hasn't emotionally recovered. Collin's third-round pick at 3.05 is the crown jewel here: drafted well, performed well, composite 82 — that's the kind of pick that makes Roger briefly consider complimenting a Patriots fan before thinking better of it. The 1.05, meanwhile, is the draft's dirty little secret — taken at 58 on draft day and somehow outperformed expectations enough to claw a 68 composite, which is fine, but "fine" is just failure with better PR. The 2.12 sitting at a 66 composite is genuinely the problem child — underperformed an already-modest draft-day grade, and per Article 11, Section 3(c) of the league by-laws, that is the official definition of a waste of a pick Collin could have traded to Jeremy for three more picks Jeremy will also waste. Overall B, dynasty purgatory maintained — Brady's Out remains the most emotionally stable and competitively mediocre franchise in the shield, and Roger means that in the most condescending way possible.

Ladies and gentlemen, the league office has completed its formal post-mortem on the Brady's Out 2024 rookie class, and Roger is prepared to deliver his findings — as soon as he finishes this old-fashioned. Collin lands a composite B (72.07), which is the fantasy equivalent of a Patriots season after Brady left: technically functional, quietly depressing. The crown jewel is, of course, Drake Maye at 1.07 — a 96 composite, the single best pick in this draft class, and frankly the only reason we're not having a very different conversation tonight. Xavier Legette showed up, did a little something, and got a B, which is fine; Jaylen Wright scraped a B- on the back of actual performance outpacing his draft-day buzz, which Roger respects marginally. And then there's Jared Wiley — a C+ sitting on a 58 composite with no performance score yet, because tight ends in year one are apparently just an act of faith, and Collin's faith, as we all know, was fully allocated to a retired quarterback. Per Article 11, Section 3(d) of the league by-laws, Brady's Out is hereby recognized for drafting one transcendent pick and three shrugs — the league office has noted this officially, and Roger is switching to his second drink.

Ladies and gentlemen, the league office has completed its formal review of the Brady's Out 2023 rookie class — and Roger will admit, albeit reluctantly, that Collin Akers did not completely embarrass himself or the shield. The 2.02 pick is the crown jewel here, a B+ composite that frankly outperformed what the room thought it was worth at draft time, which is the kind of development that makes a dynasty owner feel very smart at Thanksgiving dinner. The 3.05 was the weak link — a B that got there mostly on potential rather than production, the draft equivalent of ordering the salmon at a steakhouse and convincing yourself it was fine. The the rest of the class held steady, which is more than Roger can say for Collin's decision to name this team "Brady's Out" like it's a cry for help. A B overall is a solid draft — not a championship draft, but then again, Brady's Out has never quite sniffed that either, so perhaps the symmetry is fitting.